It happens all to soon…..that repulsive noise…Time to wake up. I roll over and hit the snooze, again and again. Just a few more minutes wrapped in sleeps warm embrace. Oh, but then I remember. There is no time to dilly dally this morning. I drag out of bed, look in the mirror to see if my hair might be in good enough condition, dress myself, pour a cup of “Heaven’s Goodness” and dash out the door.
The traffic is heavy. It’s a good thing I am going the opposite direction. Gratitude washes over me as I think about the privilege of working from home…little fingers on the keys…rather than long commutes and traffic.
The pickup is loud as I roll into my parking space. Walking to the building, my eyes well with tears. This will be my last year to walk into this building. Time Flies…how did we get here so soon? These thoughts pass through the doors of my mind as I press the buzzer. I walk down the long hallway filled with fun art and proudly displayed creative writings.
She sits on her stool, activity around her as a couple of classroom helpers pack up for the summer. She says good morning. Motions to the stool next to her. Here is the end…teacher by my side…explaining the accomplishments of Little Boy. Reading skills, check. Math skills, check. Writing skills, well lets say maybe a half check. Summer work, keep progressing, new grade standards, delightful boy to teach.
Tears stream down my cheeks, the trucks loudness drowns out the morning traffic.
Like the repulsive noise of the alarm, I am wide awake! Where did the time go? What seemed like endless nursing, poopy diapers, muddy feet, feverish bodies, blankies, cuddles, hugs, kisses, more hugs, more kisses and I love you to the moon and backs. I look and see there is no time to dilly dally. There is no more time to be wrapped on grief’s embrace. Time refuses to stand still. I am faced with the choice to miss out or be fully awake and fully alive!
The Icky Sticky Frog, The Story of Jonah and the Whale, Moostle Toe, these are the staples of Little Boy’s favorites. Hugs, kisses and alarm clocks, these are the staples of The Mom’s favorites. I am fully awake!