As I sit here blogging away…Big Boy practices a piece of music on the ivories…a little too rushed for my taste, but at least he is practicing. Big Girl, Little Girl, and Little Boy sit snuggled up in front of the TV playing Minecraft. Rain is pouring down, thunder cracking, electric going out for a few minutes. Adventures of slow and relaxed to be had on days like this….a winters pace, mid summer.
Just returning home from a trip to the grocery store, cleaning out the refrigerator, putting away newly purchased items, my mind reviews a struggle that’s been going on in my heart for quite some time. There is nothing like molded food to get one’s thought processes going! That struggle is this….what does it look like to be a mom in todays society? It seems to be getting redefined. I feel as though, at times I am losing the battle to remain a nurturer.
Standing in line, the shelves grace pictures of The Royal Princess, the new baby princess, and the latest gossip that lives in her world. Then there is the man who is now a woman, poised in a provocative stance. And what really did kill Joan Rivers? This inquiring mind doesn’t want to know. She was a person, she deserves a little privacy even in her death. After a morning of looking at the masses in their swim suites, some leaving really nothing for the imagination, I wonder, is there any such thing as true femininity left? The language my ears hear would make a sailor blush. Has it all come down to women gaining freedom so they can be even more sexualized, disrespected, even in death, and gossiped about in a moment of motherhood? Is it ok for women to look like men and men look like women? The lines of femininity and nurturing are being blurred…or are they?….or do I simply need to adjust my perspective…perhaps what I need is a new pair of perspecticles. This is the struggle that seems to be constantly in the peripheral of my mind. I realize that there has always been a battle over the value of women and their roles even all the way back to the beginning of time, in The Garden of Eden.
Do I want to try to make my pre-menopausal body, that has miraculously created four healthy babies, into something that looks like what is on the cover of the magazines? By the way…how many promises of lose thirty pounds in ten days have I seen now:) Or do I embrace my widening hips and extra padding as comfort for my crying child or squoosh for the snuggler? I know that perhaps this all seems like ramblings…but I would venture to guess that thousands of women think similar thoughts regularly. As if the check out lines aren’t enough…now we have Pinterest. Please do not get me wrong….I LOVE PINTEREST. It’s an amazing tool for ideas, but ever so sneaky. It can begin the thought process of man, why don’t I have abs like that 25 year old that only has one child…I do the same work out??? Or why doesn’t my house look like that, or why can’t my kids dress like that…or..or..or!!
So in order to still my mind and encourage my heart, I looked up what nurture means. Is it out of style? Or too old fashioned? Maybe it is. This is what the online dictionary said nurture means – to feed, to protect, to support, encourage as in a period of training or development, to bring up, educate, something that nourishes. Well if feeding and protecting, educating, supporting and encouraging are out of style then we are all most miserable! I felt super excited about these definitions!! Rather than getting discouraged by what I see, I have decided to stand out from the crowd. And be a NURTURER and be FEMININE. I am bringing nurture and femininity back…(chuckle). I realize that there are all kinds of amazing moms out there that nurture and protect, but they sometimes seem hidden from the mainstream view. I say we start a movement…cover up our bodies so no one else’s husband has to struggle with impure thoughts. Speak honorably, without crude language. Leave gossip to the tabloids…they are better at it anyways, who needs the drama? Rather than wasting our time wishing for houses, husbands, wardrobes, and bodies that are Pinterest worthy, lets use what we have and make the most of it….but above all else, lets lay aside the stressed out, high strung, helicopter, smother mother persona. Lets be protectors, educators, supporters, encouragers, and feeders of our children’s souls…Making them stand out in contrast to the fabric our society has become. Equipping them to stand tall and with confidence. Becoming the world’s problem solvers and solution creators. Leading with integrity and with honor, in return causing them to become leaders of integrity and honor. I would love it said of me, when I am 120 years old and I graduate, that I was a depositor into the souls of the next generation. A depositor of grace, love, generosity, identity and joy. My eyes have seen and my heart has felt the ache for the generation of kids whose adult parents have been withdrawlers, creating deficits within the souls of their children. Once that deficit is created, its a real challenge to recover ones soul from always feeling like they are missing something, incomplete.
Nurture goes a long way. I have found myself surrounded not only by my children, but neighbor children, students and my children’s friends….they all love kindness, food, encouragement, support, and a good joke or two. Lets bring nurture back in style.